2010, I want a REFUND!

Hello gorgeous.

You're nothing but a lying, misrepresented, over-budgeted, disappointing little twat full of false promises. And no I am not talking about the new Sex and The City 2 movie, I am talking about the year 2010. And unlike the movie, I want my damn money back.

I could've swore we all were told by 2010 that it was gonna be a good year, it was going to be a bunch of change and things were gonna get better. I recall being told that we didn't have to worry about that low-life 2009 following us anymore and trying to consume our lives with anymore stress and drama. But like a faulty politician, 2010 gassed us up, got our vote and fell through when it came time to keep her word. Well I am an unpleased individual and I want a damn refund!

Don't get me wrong, I am a fond believer of LIFE being what you make it, but I also am not blind to the fact that LIFE has the tendency to throw you a couple curve balls every now and then. And it seems like that's all I have been getting this year. From being laid off, having a rocky semester at school, being heart broken from nearly every guy I've dated this year, drama with family and especially friends, and even the weather has been a little wacky lately. Uhh 2010, what the fuck is this all about? Because all this was not in the trailer, it was not in the sneak preview, and all this drama was not listed in your brochure!

Well I refuse to sit here nagging and complaining about how big of a let down this year has been for me so far. I am not going to march over to management and start whining for a refund for my time and patience, I am however going to snatch it from them and turn things around! From this point on I refuse to let this year keep pushing me down, its about time I started pushing back! I know that somewhere in the advertisement for the upcoming year, 2010 promised me some happiness and sunny days. And now, I'm coming for it!

Peace and love!

Mikey was HERE.

HIGHS & lows.

Hello gorgeous.

Living is so turbulent, well at least for me it is. Maybe its because my actions are so impulsive and unpredictable. I know it drives my friends insane, hell I surprise myself most of the time.

But there are those days when I feel on top of the world. There are times when I walk across my school campus and I feel big, bigger than life. I zone out and everything around me kneels before me. I take the day by the horns and everything goes my way. The hugs from friends are non-stop, and the smiles and compliments from strangers are just as plentiful. Laughing is abundant and contagious amongst those I come in contact with. I feel loved, and I am elevated to a higher level. I glow and beam with happiness, I even float a little bit. It feels like I'm running when I'm just standing in one spot. Those days are what I look forward to.

But there are other days. Days that are darker, much darker. Days when I feel doubtful and unsure. I feel restless, and agitated because I can't seem to focus on anything. There are moments when I feel completely detached from my life and reality. I feel like a crumbling building, falling apart bit by bit until everything comes crashing down. There are those days when I feel like screaming, angry and resentful. Days when I am surrounded by people who know me and love me, and I feel isolated and alone. I can't articulate my emotions, and it feels like if I made an attempt to express myself it would be equivalent to being blind folded and taking a shot in a dark room. There are times when I feel like I am under so much pressure that I am about to explode. Those days are what I run from.

But through my highs and lows, I am so blessed to see another day. When my alarm clock goes off in the morning, or a friend calls me and breaks my sleep, for that silent moment laying in my bed, and my mind is fighting off the haze of my sleepiness, I feel a joy. A joy that I am a new person today. Whether the day is good or bad, I am totally and entirely 100% new. Then things don't look so gloomy anymore. A new me is born, and life becomes amazing. Life becomes less of a chore and more of a privilege. We all go through highs and lows, but its the highs and lows that make us stronger. Its those those highs and lows that turns a new page, teaches us a new lesson, that gives us another chance to make something incredible happen. Its the highs and lows that eventually shapes the impossible into miracles.

Peace and love!

Mikey was HERE.

Dream BIG!

Hello gorgeous.

So winter is here, and off to a very ugly start! The new spring semester of school has started, and I have a huge amount on my plate! As I am getting closer to transferring, I've been asking myself this question: "Why am I doing this?"

I do not take my education lightly or for granted, I believe having an education will set you free. I am so blessed and appreciative to be able to learn and liberate my mind, I honestly can not imagine my life without school. But I am getting older and growing up, and my education is now leading me towards the career I want to have, but why am I doing this?

It truly feels like I am stepping into a new playing field, and many of my childish thoughts and actions are having to be left behind. I am stepping into adulthood, and I am on the verge of starting my life. But why? Why not take the easy road and subject to the life my environment has for me? Why not become a stereotype? Why all the struggle? Why all the stress?

The answer to that is because I have to. I have to be greater than the numerous sorry stories of my environment. I have to shatter the stereotypes to make a change not only for myself, but for the generations after me. I have to struggle through all of my obstacles because I believe the victory will be worth it. I have to endure the stress in order to make it to the top.

I refuse to be anything other than the best; I am determined to reach my maximum potential. So I'll be fearless. I'll be a pioneer. I'll be resilient. I'll be tenacious. I'll fight until there is no fight left in me, and then get back in the ring to fight again. I will not fall victim to fear. My dreams are so palpable I can feel and touch them. I believe life has something incredible to offer all of us, and all we have to do is reach out and get it. I don't know about you, but I want what life has for me! So the next time DOUBT comes along to ask me why I am doing all this, I will tell it because there's something in store for me and I refuse to let it go to waste!

Peace and love!

Mikey was HERE.

Will The "Real Mikey" PLEASE Stand Up?

Hello gorgeous.

Its a new year and a new day! I said I was going to leave a lot of things in 2009, and start and try some new things in 2010...and I plan to do just that! But before we get to all that, I need to address an issue of mine!

It felt like in 2009 I was sitting in the passenger's seat of my life, and I didn't accomplish or achieve many of the goals I felt I should have. I let all the hassles and obstacles I endured steer me wherever they wanted, and now I'm forced playing catch up! But I think its best to learn from your mistakes and try again then to be down in the dumps and not get back on your feet at all.

So for this year I'm going to do things very differently! For one thing, I want to upgrade my personality. I've always believed that first impressions were highly important, but for some reason all my first impressions turn out horribly wrong! People generally always think the worse of me when they meet me for the first time! Once they get past my exterior and get to know the "real me" they discover that I'm nothing of what they thought I was initially, but damn that takes a lot of time and work! They usually think I'm this flamboyant, pretentious, stuck up and obnoxious gay boy. Or they think I'm really shy, reserved and docile. And neither of those things are who I am at all!

I'd like to think of myself as charismatic, irresistible and adorable (Haha just kidding)! I know that I am a nice guy, and I'd like to show more of that persona than to have to everyone thinking the wrong things about me. Now that does not mean that I am going to morph myself or kiss a bunch of ass to get everyone to like me, because lets be realistic everyone is not going to like or be able to tolerate me! But there is no harm in being genuine, sincere and the best you that you can be at all times! If the public is not going to sip my cup of tea, I'd prefer it'd be because it was not the flavor they were looking for, rather than they misunderstood it at first glance.

This year I am going hard. No exceptions, no excuses. And the only way I can do that is by being the best me I can be! So its about time I started living my life for me, and being myself 100 %. I've got nothing to lose at this point!

Peace and love!

Mikey was HERE.

The Declaration of Independence!

Hello gorgeous.

Hmph, you're so vain I bet you probably think this blog is about you. And you're right, it is! You heart breaker, you con-artist, you manipulator, you hater, you negative leech, you bundle of fear, you feeling of sorrow and misery, you dream crusher, you mind full of regret, you trials and tribulations of 2009!

So much has happened this year, its been a wild and reckless roller coaster that I have been a very unwilling participant of. Reflecting on my life, and all the events that occurred this year has pushed me so far off the ledge I have nothing left to do but spread my wings and soar back up to the top. Life in 2009 has given me so much drama, so much heart ache that I can not wait for the year to finally meet its end.

Many people hope and wish for 2010 to be better for them, but I am certain that 2010 will exceed my expectations because I plan on making it that way. There is no room for failure, uncertainty or doubt, I have to come out swinging. There are no options or alternatives. My style, ambition, work ethic, morals, relationships all have to be on point! No room for slip-ups or mishaps!

One of the main hassles I faced in 2009 was my relationships with guys. I find it so sad, yet hilarious that out of all the guys I dated this year, after all the bullshit and obstacles they put me through, now that the year is coming to its end and I am getting near the finish line....the only person still standing here is me. There's no one who held my hand the whole time, no one who stood by my side, no man who gave me constant support and words of endearment, no its just me. Trust me, that fact screams a truth too loud to be ignored, and I'm finally listening to it.

So with all that being said, this is a declaration of independence. This is an emancipation from disappointment, wastes of time, jumping though loop holes, holding back and falling victim to doubt. This is MY LIFE got damn it and it is about time I started acting like it! Its time I exercised my creativity in various avenues, gave myself plenty of space to mature and explore the many passions and interests I have. And I am not waiting for the clock to strike midnight on New Years Eve, I'm starting RIGHT NOW. I'm going hard with no intentions of slowing down, or giving up. In 2009 life threw a lot of punches but never knocked my lights out, so for round two in 2010 I'm swinging back.

Later my little monsters!

Mikey was HERE.

I <3 Breakups!

Hello gorgeous.

I don't know if its the weather, or if people are just getting sick and tired of each other, but it feels like numerous people are breaking up left and right! After engaging in several conversations concerning dating and breakups, I felt like I had to address the issue.

Nobody ever said that life, including anything in it was going to be easy. And if they did say that, they definitely lied. And if you believed the lie you're a fucking idiot. Okay maybe not an idiot, but you are a moron. Its a dog-eat-dog world and nothing is ever going to be handed to you, if you want something you have to be prepared to make the sacrifices and work hard to get it. The same work ethic applies to the world of dating, nothing is ever going to be entirely simple with it.

The world of dating is full of diversity: so many people searching for so many things and its easy to get corrupted, distracted, and trampled over in the process. The same scenarios happen every time, we get tired of taking someone's bullshit, people change, some one gets bored, some one gets scared...its a very fragile and complicated issue. Hell, I don't know why any of us do it at all, but the fact is that we all do it. I believe we should all learn to accept and embrace the breakup process instead of sulking or resenting the process or the person who initiated it.

I can say from personal experience I have been broken up with many times, and even broken up with a few guys in my day. Some of the incidents were bad, and some of them went quite smoothly but they all come to an end. And to be frank, I couldn't be any fucking happier that they did! The breakup process teaches you something every time it occurs, and I always feel so enlightened and matured after them. I spring back into action more level headed, focused and liberated than I felt before.

So what you dated the jerk and he broke your heart? Take a few days to cry and have your temper tantrum, then shake it off and move the hell on! As corny as it is, there are ALWAYS more fish in the sea! Just like you picked up the last lover, you can up another one. Yes breaking up is painful, frustrating and disappointing, but there will be sunny days and rainbows again. And if you didn't take anything from this blog, please take this: where there is anything good, you can bet there is always something better. And if there is something better then there must be something that is the best. So don't spend too much time hung up on something you thought was good, because something better just might past you by.

Later my little monsters!

Mikey was HERE.

INDIVIDUALITY: The New Black

Hello gorgeous.

So I've been feeling incredibly creative lately, and a lot of that energy has been injected in my outer appearance. Now I am not a person with an outrageous sense of style, but the way I dress is not very common in my area. Needless to say, I very often get a lot of attention...mostly negative haha.

But I have learned a few things in my day, and one lesson I learned is to live your life giving no apologies. I consider myself to be an individual because I always strive to do things my own way and at my own pace. But sometimes it feels like individuality is going out of style. So many people are thinking, dressing and acting so alike these days, particularly where I live. I don't frequently go to the club, but on the occasions I do go...it feels like everyone in there is the same! From their attire, mentality, actions...they all seem like clones of each other. Is anybody different anymore?

I have also come to terms with myself on the fact that I can not really befriend or date someone who is not an individual in some aspect of their life. Whether it is their style, goals, or outlook on life, if the person is narrow-minded or a victim to sameness the relationship or friendship between us usually does not travel far. I find myself consistently fighting with them, always disagreeing on ideas or methods of doing things, feeling trapped, feeling like the person is constricting me and holding me back. If the person lacks individuality often times they will not be able to understand me, and will spend too much time trying to figure me out instead of accepting me as I am.

I admire people who step outside the box to do their own thing. I respect their courage and fearlessness, and I model myself after their mentality. I want to be remembered as the boy who did his own thing, moved to the beat of his own drums, played in his own league, invented and broke his own rules. I'm bringing individuality BACK in style, and rocking it like no other! In life there is only one you, and you have two choices: you can live your life like everyone else, or you can choose to be an individual. So I encourage everyone to embrace themselves! Be your own person! And as the end of the year approaches, why not set some goals for the new year and do some things you've never done before! The only thing holding you back, is you.

Later my little monsters!

Mikey was HERE.