Summer surely is here and it hot as hell! I can't complain too much, however individuals such as my self with darker skin tend to curse the heat--we always get darker! Then again the saying goes, "the darker the berry the sweeter the juice"--but I think some dark skinned fool just made that up to feel good about himself!
Anyway, I was talking with my best friend earlier this week and we were discussing how it felt like our pasts were becoming too overwhelming in our present. Whether it was particular individuals or situations, the past seemed to be getting a little too close for comfort in our current lives. Which sprouted into a question and the birth of this blog: what are you supposed to do when your past is so vividly apart of your present?
Well I think "the past" needs to have its own definition in order for me to further elaborate! To me, the past is only really the past when the situations or people from it no longer linger around in the present. For example, can you really say someone you used to date is in "your past" if you never stop thinking about, missing, loving, or resenting them? Or can you say that you are over someone you used to be friends with if the hurt, animosity or guilt never gets resolved? Are the things that happened weeks, months, or years ago ever really over if there is never any completion?
Perhaps the things that happened before can not be labeled as "the past" if there is never any closure. If we end a situation, friendship or relationship and still carry around the baggage up to now, are we being true to ourselves to say it is over? Generally when people say something is in "the past" they mainly mean that they are over it, or have been trying to move on. But if there was never any resolution or completion how the hell can you move on?! Where are you going to go, except in one big circle? A story is not really a story with a beginning and no ending.
Personally there are numerous situations and relationships that I have been involved in and I can say that they are in the past--mainly because I sincerely am over and done with it. I do not carry around any excess baggage, unresolved feelings, or animosity. I have personally taken the time out to resolve it internally within myself, or externally with the other person, and I have moved on! But I have to be fair and say that there are things that I am not entirely over; things or people that I still resent and I can not say these things are in the past because they are still apart of my present life. Whether I think about it rarely or every day, they have not come full circle and therefore are not over.
So if the past is so vividly entwined with your present, maybe it is for a reason! I am a person about progression and advancement--therefore holding grudges are pointless to me. No I am not perfect, which means I am not the best at forgiving and letting go, but I sure as hell aim to be! To say that you forgive someone means to except the person and the situation for what it is and to really let it all go. So many of us tell ourselves lies that we are over things that we really are not, and then we wonder why we can't ever be happy, keep a stable relationship, and attract so much negativity. If things are still unresolved, we most likely need to address them so we can grow and move on. If it is meant to still be in our lives then it will prove just that, and if it does not it is up to us to finish that story so it can finally come to its ending. I know I have a few stories that I need to finish, and I plan on closing each and every one. Besides, what else is there to do in this heat?!
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
That is true.
ReplyDeleteI think its all about that one thing that stops us from reaching that ability to forgive and move on.
"inner clarity"
Many of us think that just saying "whatever" and not analyzing the problem and the solution and if they work together is whats best but its not. Life is too short to be mad and angry at people if they do harm to you. Find out what you need to do as a person FIRST, then what the other person should accomplish.