Thursday, May 27, 2010

2010, I want a REFUND!

Hello gorgeous.

You're nothing but a lying, misrepresented, over-budgeted, disappointing little twat full of false promises. And no I am not talking about the new Sex and The City 2 movie, I am talking about the year 2010. And unlike the movie, I want my damn money back.

I could've swore we all were told by 2010 that it was gonna be a good year, it was going to be a bunch of change and things were gonna get better. I recall being told that we didn't have to worry about that low-life 2009 following us anymore and trying to consume our lives with anymore stress and drama. But like a faulty politician, 2010 gassed us up, got our vote and fell through when it came time to keep her word. Well I am an unpleased individual and I want a damn refund!

Don't get me wrong, I am a fond believer of LIFE being what you make it, but I also am not blind to the fact that LIFE has the tendency to throw you a couple curve balls every now and then. And it seems like that's all I have been getting this year. From being laid off, having a rocky semester at school, being heart broken from nearly every guy I've dated this year, drama with family and especially friends, and even the weather has been a little wacky lately. Uhh 2010, what the fuck is this all about? Because all this was not in the trailer, it was not in the sneak preview, and all this drama was not listed in your brochure!

Well I refuse to sit here nagging and complaining about how big of a let down this year has been for me so far. I am not going to march over to management and start whining for a refund for my time and patience, I am however going to snatch it from them and turn things around! From this point on I refuse to let this year keep pushing me down, its about time I started pushing back! I know that somewhere in the advertisement for the upcoming year, 2010 promised me some happiness and sunny days. And now, I'm coming for it!

Peace and love!
Mikey was HERE.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

HIGHS & lows.

Hello gorgeous.

Living is so turbulent, well at least for me it is. Maybe its because my actions are so impulsive and unpredictable. I know it drives my friends insane, hell I surprise myself most of the time.

But there are those days when I feel on top of the world. There are times when I walk across my school campus and I feel big, bigger than life. I zone out and everything around me kneels before me. I take the day by the horns and everything goes my way. The hugs from friends are non-stop, and the smiles and compliments from strangers are just as plentiful. Laughing is abundant and contagious amongst those I come in contact with. I feel loved, and I am elevated to a higher level. I glow and beam with happiness, I even float a little bit. It feels like I'm running when I'm just standing in one spot. Those days are what I look forward to.

But there are other days. Days that are darker, much darker. Days when I feel doubtful and unsure. I feel restless, and agitated because I can't seem to focus on anything. There are moments when I feel completely detached from my life and reality. I feel like a crumbling building, falling apart bit by bit until everything comes crashing down. There are those days when I feel like screaming, angry and resentful. Days when I am surrounded by people who know me and love me, and I feel isolated and alone. I can't articulate my emotions, and it feels like if I made an attempt to express myself it would be equivalent to being blind folded and taking a shot in a dark room. There are times when I feel like I am under so much pressure that I am about to explode. Those days are what I run from.

But through my highs and lows, I am so blessed to see another day. When my alarm clock goes off in the morning, or a friend calls me and breaks my sleep, for that silent moment laying in my bed, and my mind is fighting off the haze of my sleepiness, I feel a joy. A joy that I am a new person today. Whether the day is good or bad, I am totally and entirely 100% new. Then things don't look so gloomy anymore. A new me is born, and life becomes amazing. Life becomes less of a chore and more of a privilege. We all go through highs and lows, but its the highs and lows that make us stronger. Its those those highs and lows that turns a new page, teaches us a new lesson, that gives us another chance to make something incredible happen. Its the highs and lows that eventually shapes the impossible into miracles.

Peace and love!
Mikey was HERE.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Dream BIG!

Hello gorgeous.

So winter is here, and off to a very ugly start! The new spring semester of school has started, and I have a huge amount on my plate! As I am getting closer to transferring, I've been asking myself this question: "Why am I doing this?"

I do not take my education lightly or for granted, I believe having an education will set you free. I am so blessed and appreciative to be able to learn and liberate my mind, I honestly can not imagine my life without school. But I am getting older and growing up, and my education is now leading me towards the career I want to have, but why am I doing this?

It truly feels like I am stepping into a new playing field, and many of my childish thoughts and actions are having to be left behind. I am stepping into adulthood, and I am on the verge of starting my life. But why? Why not take the easy road and subject to the life my environment has for me? Why not become a stereotype? Why all the struggle? Why all the stress?

The answer to that is because I have to. I have to be greater than the numerous sorry stories of my environment. I have to shatter the stereotypes to make a change not only for myself, but for the generations after me. I have to struggle through all of my obstacles because I believe the victory will be worth it. I have to endure the stress in order to make it to the top.

I refuse to be anything other than the best; I am determined to reach my maximum potential. So I'll be fearless. I'll be a pioneer. I'll be resilient. I'll be tenacious. I'll fight until there is no fight left in me, and then get back in the ring to fight again. I will not fall victim to fear. My dreams are so palpable I can feel and touch them. I believe life has something incredible to offer all of us, and all we have to do is reach out and get it. I don't know about you, but I want what life has for me! So the next time DOUBT comes along to ask me why I am doing all this, I will tell it because there's something in store for me and I refuse to let it go to waste!

Peace and love!

Mikey was HERE.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Will The "Real Mikey" PLEASE Stand Up?

Hello gorgeous.

Its a new year and a new day! I said I was going to leave a lot of things in 2009, and start and try some new things in 2010...and I plan to do just that! But before we get to all that, I need to address an issue of mine!

It felt like in 2009 I was sitting in the passenger's seat of my life, and I didn't accomplish or achieve many of the goals I felt I should have. I let all the hassles and obstacles I endured steer me wherever they wanted, and now I'm forced playing catch up! But I think its best to learn from your mistakes and try again then to be down in the dumps and not get back on your feet at all.

So for this year I'm going to do things very differently! For one thing, I want to upgrade my personality. I've always believed that first impressions were highly important, but for some reason all my first impressions turn out horribly wrong! People generally always think the worse of me when they meet me for the first time! Once they get past my exterior and get to know the "real me" they discover that I'm nothing of what they thought I was initially, but damn that takes a lot of time and work! They usually think I'm this flamboyant, pretentious, stuck up and obnoxious gay boy. Or they think I'm really shy, reserved and docile. And neither of those things are who I am at all!

I'd like to think of myself as charismatic, irresistible and adorable (Haha just kidding)! I know that I am a nice guy, and I'd like to show more of that persona than to have to everyone thinking the wrong things about me. Now that does not mean that I am going to morph myself or kiss a bunch of ass to get everyone to like me, because lets be realistic everyone is not going to like or be able to tolerate me! But there is no harm in being genuine, sincere and the best you that you can be at all times! If the public is not going to sip my cup of tea, I'd prefer it'd be because it was not the flavor they were looking for, rather than they misunderstood it at first glance.

This year I am going hard. No exceptions, no excuses. And the only way I can do that is by being the best me I can be! So its about time I started living my life for me, and being myself 100 %. I've got nothing to lose at this point!

Peace and love!
Mikey was HERE.