skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Hello gorgeous.Hmph, you're so vain I bet you probably think this blog is about you. And you're right, it is! You heart breaker, you con-artist, you manipulator, you hater, you negative leech, you bundle of fear, you feeling of sorrow and misery, you dream crusher, you mind full of regret, you trials and tribulations of 2009!So much has happened this year, its been a wild and reckless roller coaster that I have been a very unwilling participant of. Reflecting on my life, and all the events that occurred this year has pushed me so far off the ledge I have nothing left to do but spread my wings and soar back up to the top. Life in 2009 has given me so much drama, so much heart ache that I can not wait for the year to finally meet its end.Many people hope and wish for 2010 to be better for them, but I am certain that 2010 will exceed my expectations because I plan on making it that way. There is no room for failure, uncertainty or doubt, I have to come out swinging. There are no options or alternatives. My style, ambition, work ethic, morals, relationships all have to be on point! No room for slip-ups or mishaps!One of the main hassles I faced in 2009 was my relationships with guys. I find it so sad, yet hilarious that out of all the guys I dated this year, after all the bullshit and obstacles they put me through, now that the year is coming to its end and I am getting near the finish line....the only person still standing here is me. There's no one who held my hand the whole time, no one who stood by my side, no man who gave me constant support and words of endearment, no its just me. Trust me, that fact screams a truth too loud to be ignored, and I'm finally listening to it.So with all that being said, this is a declaration of independence. This is an emancipation from disappointment, wastes of time, jumping though loop holes, holding back and falling victim to doubt. This is MY LIFE got damn it and it is about time I started acting like it! Its time I exercised my creativity in various avenues, gave myself plenty of space to mature and explore the many passions and interests I have. And I am not waiting for the clock to strike midnight on New Years Eve, I'm starting RIGHT NOW. I'm going hard with no intentions of slowing down, or giving up. In 2009 life threw a lot of punches but never knocked my lights out, so for round two in 2010 I'm swinging back.Later my little monsters!Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.I don't know if its the weather, or if people are just getting sick and tired of each other, but it feels like numerous people are breaking up left and right! After engaging in several conversations concerning dating and breakups, I felt like I had to address the issue.Nobody ever said that life, including anything in it was going to be easy. And if they did say that, they definitely lied. And if you believed the lie you're a fucking idiot. Okay maybe not an idiot, but you are a moron. Its a dog-eat-dog world and nothing is ever going to be handed to you, if you want something you have to be prepared to make the sacrifices and work hard to get it. The same work ethic applies to the world of dating, nothing is ever going to be entirely simple with it.The world of dating is full of diversity: so many people searching for so many things and its easy to get corrupted, distracted, and trampled over in the process. The same scenarios happen every time, we get tired of taking someone's bullshit, people change, some one gets bored, some one gets scared...its a very fragile and complicated issue. Hell, I don't know why any of us do it at all, but the fact is that we all do it. I believe we should all learn to accept and embrace the breakup process instead of sulking or resenting the process or the person who initiated it.I can say from personal experience I have been broken up with many times, and even broken up with a few guys in my day. Some of the incidents were bad, and some of them went quite smoothly but they all come to an end. And to be frank, I couldn't be any fucking happier that they did! The breakup process teaches you something every time it occurs, and I always feel so enlightened and matured after them. I spring back into action more level headed, focused and liberated than I felt before. So what you dated the jerk and he broke your heart? Take a few days to cry and have your temper tantrum, then shake it off and move the hell on! As corny as it is, there are ALWAYS more fish in the sea! Just like you picked up the last lover, you can up another one. Yes breaking up is painful, frustrating and disappointing, but there will be sunny days and rainbows again. And if you didn't take anything from this blog, please take this: where there is anything good, you can bet there is always something better. And if there is something better then there must be something that is the best. So don't spend too much time hung up on something you thought was good, because something better just might past you by.Later my little monsters!Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.So I've been feeling incredibly creative lately, and a lot of that energy has been injected in my outer appearance. Now I am not a person with an outrageous sense of style, but the way I dress is not very common in my area. Needless to say, I very often get a lot of attention...mostly negative haha.But I have learned a few things in my day, and one lesson I learned is to live your life giving no apologies. I consider myself to be an individual because I always strive to do things my own way and at my own pace. But sometimes it feels like individuality is going out of style. So many people are thinking, dressing and acting so alike these days, particularly where I live. I don't frequently go to the club, but on the occasions I do go...it feels like everyone in there is the same! From their attire, mentality, actions...they all seem like clones of each other. Is anybody different anymore?I have also come to terms with myself on the fact that I can not really befriend or date someone who is not an individual in some aspect of their life. Whether it is their style, goals, or outlook on life, if the person is narrow-minded or a victim to sameness the relationship or friendship between us usually does not travel far. I find myself consistently fighting with them, always disagreeing on ideas or methods of doing things, feeling trapped, feeling like the person is constricting me and holding me back. If the person lacks individuality often times they will not be able to understand me, and will spend too much time trying to figure me out instead of accepting me as I am.I admire people who step outside the box to do their own thing. I respect their courage and fearlessness, and I model myself after their mentality. I want to be remembered as the boy who did his own thing, moved to the beat of his own drums, played in his own league, invented and broke his own rules. I'm bringing individuality BACK in style, and rocking it like no other! In life there is only one you, and you have two choices: you can live your life like everyone else, or you can choose to be an individual. So I encourage everyone to embrace themselves! Be your own person! And as the end of the year approaches, why not set some goals for the new year and do some things you've never done before! The only thing holding you back, is you.Later my little monsters!Mikey was HERE.
Dear hater,
Really? Again? I thought we squashed all this nonsense long ago, but I guess you decided to come back for act 2! Do you ever give that feeble little mind of yours a break? I think its so cute of you to dedicate so much time, thought and energy to little ole' me! They say big things come in small packages, and that dense tiny mind of yours sure causes so much commotion, particularly when I'm around! You sure are brave to publicize your feelings for me, most admirers prefer to remain secret, but not you! Aww, how sweet.Oh hater, when will you learn? Haven't you ever heard the grade school quote that, "I am rubber and you are glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you"? With that being said, all your negativity holds no weight with me, it just continues its ruthless grip on you and your sorry little life. Didn't I tell you last time to go get a hobby or at least occupy your time with something productive? Glaring and snickering at me does not count you big silly! If anything, your snide remarks and attempts to pump fear into me only furthermore validates my excellence and superiority over you. I was already headed for the top, but thank you ever so kindly for pushing me up a few steps.An old saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water but you can not make it think" and I find so much relevance in that statement because I can lead your mind to some knowledge but I can not make you think! Hatred does nothing good for one's physical, emotional or mental being, if anything it confines you. I'm all about love and progression, and you and I can never coexist being that you are all about negativity and digression. Not all opposites attract, some of them repel.Great leaders are seldom understood or threatened by their peers, and you and your shallow outlook on life pose no threat to me. Perhaps you do not dislike or hate me, but in fact fear me because I pose a threat to you. Whereas you live your life in a box, I live mine outside it. You fear me because you fear change. However, instead of turning my back on you I choose to enlighten you. I do not think I am better than you, I am simply leading by example. I do not seek revenge on you, I pray for humility and patience to deal with you. You do not disgust me although you very often disappoint me. But you are human just like me and I know as humans we are frequently flawed. And because I can empathize with you, I grit my teeth when you scowl at me. I turn the other cheek when you cause an uproar when I walk by. I try my best not to verbally assault you when you make rude remarks about me.Hater, I love you dearly. Thanks for the fuel, and when I reach my peak I promise to embrace my success and remain humble. I couldn't have made it this far with out you, keep it up!XOXOMikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.My silence and decline in blogging has been due to big change in my agenda. Things in my life have shifted, and for once I actually have priorities! Haha I guess everyone eventually does have to grow up. Who knew?!With the change of the season and with recent events in my life, I have been flooded with new feelings of confidence and ambition. On a personal note, I have endured many emotional blows but my tenacity has kept me standing.This season, and as the year finally comes to its end I am going to strive to step out of my element. Take some chances, and spice things up. Life has the tendency to take us out of our comfort zone, and sometimes we can not fight the change, we just have to adapt. Change can be good for us, and I am going to embrace it.I have been feeling these unprecedented surges of creativity, and I think its time to exert them. Maybe slightly change the way I dress, venture into some different artistic venues, broaden my outlook on life.For once I feel like taking some risks. So consider that a head's up and a threat.Later my little monsters!Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.Its the first of the month! Oh my gosh I am so stoked, its been pretty cold this week too! Now I can hit the mall and thrift stores (Yes I am a thrift store fanatic) to go shopping for sweaters and scarves!
So I decided to make a blog about every one's favorite topic: S-E-X! We're all adults here right?
*Devious grin*
Sex....every one's doing it, and majority of them are not doing it right! In my opinion, sex in my generation has been so badgered, eroded, and diminished into practically nothing of significant value. Its in the media, in our music, advertisement, and it has transformed into a form so unrecognizable and contorted.
Now-a-days it seems people are mainly concerned with penis size and promiscuity. It doesn't take much to get someone in bed anymore, many people will beat you to the bedroom before you even make the offer. So many young women have demeaned themselves into whores, and sadly pride themselves in wearing the title. Many men, especially in the gay community, hop from one partner to the next and think nothing of it. It appears that we live in an era where sex and love have nothing to do with each other anymore. But I'm quite confused, when did sex and love have a break-up? And is there any hope of them getting back together?
Call me old fashioned, call me a clueless idealist, but I think more of sex than what many people of my generation do. Maybe it something to do with my upbringing, or maybe its because I have morals.Whatever the case is I know that sex is more than getting a dick shoved up your ass, spreading your legs and laying on your back, or dropping on your knees and servicing someone. I refuse to have sex with someone simply because they have a pretty smile and is well-endowed. Whatever happened to making someone you like wait to experience that privilege with you? Or perhaps that's the problem, people don't view sex as an intimate privilege that only a select few should experience with you.
Now I am not looking down on anyone or their lifestyles, but I think that many people have sex for all the wrong reasons. Some people have sex because they are sadly on a search for love and validation, but those are two things you should already have established with the person before you engage in the act with them. Also, some people allow sex to consume their relationships because they are too blinded to see that without it they have no depth in the relationship or there is nothing in common with the other person. I find it most sad, that many people have various loveless sexual encounters and pride themselves in boasting about how many partners that have had, or how they have cheated on their partners to sleep with someone else. Those people are trying to muffle their screams for attention and help.
Many people think they have sex all figured out, but let me enlighten everyone on the truth about sex: sex can be many things, but it should never require you to sacrifice your self-esteem, dignity, self-respect, or identity to engage in the act. There is nothing wrong with taking your time when it comes to sex so that it actually means something when you do it. So boys and girls it is not the "size of the boat" or "the motion of the ocean", it is about the volume of your morality.
Later my little monsters!Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.Today officially marks the first day of Fall! Aren't you excited? I sure am! I can't wait to crank out the new sweaters, scarves, and get a break from all this heat!
Anyway, this post is just a photo montage of some shots I took around Downtown Sacramento! I am in no way a professional photographer, nor do I do own any professional camera equipment. Its just some pictures I took! Enjoy!
Hello gorgeous.Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes. Summer you have been a delight, but it is time for us to retire you dear. Fall is slowly making his way on the scene, and I am quite eager to see him!
Oh Fall how much I have missed you! I am so infatuated with him, everything about him keeps me on a drug-free high. I wonder what he will be like this time around, and what new adventures I will encounter with him!
Oh how I marvel at his style and fashion! No other season can compare to the way he utilizes accessories, and makes us want to dress chic and stylish!
And the food is always so good with him! From those lovely seasonal Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks to Thanksgiving dinner, he keeps me on a full stomach!
And the music of this season has me so excited! Which of my favorite artist will release new videos, hit the studio, go on tour or perform at some venues? What new artists will emerge onto the scene?
So let us all say our last words to summer, and remember the good times we shared with her. Whether it was a summer romance, loads of partying, wild nights of clubbing and drinking, concerts, or road trips, summer has been sweet to us no doubt about that. But now I stand with open arms ready to embrace Fall! Dear Summer, we hardly knew ye.
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.Ever hear the phrase, "When one door closes, another one will open?" Now although the phrase is pretty cliche, it still has some validity and power in it! In life we seem to place so much hope in the next door opening as fast as it can so we can get over the fact that one door has just been slammed in our faces. But if the door never closed on us, another one would not have opened! The second door opening is supposed to be new opportunity, hope or change and the first door is supposed to be rejection. But in my opinion, rejection is not as bad as many make it out to be!So many fear it, fight it and avoid it like the plague, but what they fail to realize is that rejection is a beneficial factor of life. Most people are so distant or against Rejection because it never travels alone; it always has its friends Vulnerability, Pity, and Sadness tagging along with it. Feeling all these emotions is enough reason for someone to not want to have to face rejection, but there are several benefits that come from enduring it. Facing a problem and standing tall against it gives you power, experience, and may enlighten you with truth about your self or the situation you are in. Personally I can be honest and say that I have a lot of confidence in myself; do not get me wrong I have my insecurities just like everyone else, but I am also very self-assured. With that being said, despite all my confidence and security I have with myself, I am still human and I have encountered my share of rejection. I have been rejected by guys, rejected by peers, rejected from universities and colleges, rejected from jobs...and the list goes on and on! But I still have walked away from all of those experiences stronger, brighter, and surprisingly more optimistic than before I endured them! I will also say that yes, it hurts to be rejected especially repeatedly. So I can understand someone's reasoning for not wanting to face a problem or issue in fear of being turned down.
However, there is a beauty in pain that can only be discovered through stomaching it. There is a certain knowledge that you absorb when you overcome rejection, and it can be flexible and applicable to various aspects of your life. So many cringe at the thought of being bold and brave in their situations and they cower away. They shy away from asking someone they like out on a date, opening up about their feelings or expressing their emotions, or demonstrating their talent or creativity all because of rejection. Instead of screaming, they muffle themselves and stay silent. Regret and resentment usually follows.
I said all that to say this, we as humans are not invincible. We all have our rain days, and sometimes those rainy days turn into brutal storms. Rejection is not all that bad once you get to know him, in fact he's really beautiful once you learn how to conquer him. Life is not all about having your back glued to the wall, but it is also not all about being wild and reckless. Sometimes life is about taking the plunge, being risky, testing your chances. And if you fall and hit the ground, there's really only one logical thing left to do which is to get back up! The more times you endure rejection the more prone you will become to equipping yourself for it and his clingy buddies. Let us not muffle ourselves in silence, let's give rejection a run for its money and scream--loudly scream!
Later my little monsters.
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.So I decided to write my second "Top 10", this time about heart breakers! Whether you know it or not, summer is approaching its end and it is also BREAK UP SEASON!!!! So generally if you are in a relationship this is the period when most couples start to have problems. I wouldn't be too heart broken though, just think about all the newly available Fall cuties there will be! This post will magnify a few signs that you are dating a heart breaker!Okay let's kick this thing off!#10 - You find yourself consistently competing with your boyfriend's/girlfriend's friends for their attention. They are steadily spending most of their free time with their friends, while you are always getting blown off. Despite your efforts to spend time with them, you always seem to end up on the back burner.
#9 - Anything that goes wrong that is their fault, always and I mean always is followed by an excuse. They can never seem to own up to their mishaps. You find yourself always being spoon fed a bunch of excuses that not only explain why whatever happened is not their fault, but also makes you feel guilty for blaming them in the first place.
#8 - He/She does not listen to you or communicate with you effectively. You find yourself continuously arguing or fighting over the same things, and it seems like they are never showing any improvement. Or, you feel like you have no voice at all in the relationship.
#7 - You try to vocalize your desires and they are always ignored by him/her. They do not take into consideration how or why what you want is important to you, and they don't strive to make any compromises. Whether that desire is more personal space, more attention, or to be sexually satisfied to whatever degree. Your wants are shut down and neglected.
#6 - Your friends have warned you about them, or told you not to date them and you defend him/her. However, you spend most of your time trying to convince yourself more than anyone else that this person is as good as you think they are. Despite everyone's advice and your own intuition, you find yourself trying to prove that you are not wrong about him/her.
#5 - He/she has a bad dating history or reputation. You are so convinced that you will be 'the one' to change them, and that you will not end up like all of their heart broken exes.
#4 - They make you feel used....and not in a good way. They consume most of your energy and contribute to most of your stress. Your relationship or time revolves mostly around all of their issues and problems. Or, they tell you that they "need you"....and you stay around because you believe him/her.
#3 - You break up and make up constantly. Things are never good for a long period of time. You always find yourself fighting or breaking up with him/her. The relationship is emotionally draining or mentally manipulative.
#2 - You've already told yourself that you don't want to do this anymore, but can never leave for good. Something always pulls you back.
#1 - You can't look at him/her and see what made you want to be with him/her in the first place. The fire, the light, or whatever is no longer there anymore.
I am by no means an expert at relationships. I mean I'm 19, what the hell do I know about love and relationships right? But these are just some things that I have encountered or witnessed and they all point to the same conclusion: THE GUY/GIRL YOU ARE DATING IS A HEART BREAKER! Stop crying. Stop stressing. And most importantly, stop fighting a battle that has already ended. Besides, if the person really cared about you or the relationship wouldn't they be fighting alongside you?
Honey, give it a rest.
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.[WARNING] this blog is just a bunch of rambling.
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me (Cue techno music and strobe lights)
I think that "What is love?" is one of those timeless questions that has been asked for years and years before us, and will continue to be asked after us. And the answers to it are infinite depending on the person asking!
Some would say that God is love, and that you never really can experience it until you have found him. Others may say that love is something you share with someone you really care about. Or maybe love is having a circle of people whether it be friends or family, who you can trust and you know really care about you.
Maybe love is just like a home, and it is where your heart is. Maybe love is realizing that all you ever wanted or needed was always right in front of you in one particular person. Or it could be that all you ever needed was yourself.
Love could be giving someone a second chance after they've hurt and disappointed you. Maybe love is admitting to yourself and everyone around you that you never really stopped caring about a guy or girl. Maybe love is something you find in material things; maybe love is a shopping spree. Maybe love is concluding that the spark you thought you saw in someone is gone now.
Some people would say that love is a recreational activity (like writing in my case), maybe dancing, singing, basketball or fashion. Maybe love is leaving someone behind, not because you don't care about them anymore but maybe realizing that they have been holding you back. Love could be quitting that bad habit, whether it is smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. Maybe love is being rejected again and again until you finally found someone who wants you. Maybe love is changing for someone you really care about, perhaps it is accepting someone just as they are.
Maybe love is sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon and laughing at a memory. Could it be never forgetting someone that has passed on? Instead of throwing your hands up and saying "fuck it!"--maybe love is clasping those hands with those of another and working it out. Is love sharing your body with someone and having sex with them? Maybe love is the beauty and splendor of child birth. Could love be getting the guts to tell someone that you really care about them or like them? Is love at first sight, or is it a gradual feeling that happens over time?
Is love really simple--or maybe it is complicated; is it the duality of both? Is love ever wrong? Does it ever hurt? If it does, do you withstand the pain or walk away from it? Do you fight those feelings you thought you suppressed so well, or should you give in to them? Is love forgiving all the people that have hurt you and moving on with life? Is it being charitable and having humility? Is love never missing church in 7 years? Is love dedication? Is love giving or receiving--or perhaps, is it both?
The answers are as limitless as the questions. But maybe love is none of these things, perhaps love is in discovery. And maybe you never really will know what it is, unless you conquer your fears and go out to seek it.
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.Summer '09, its looking mighty good wouldn't you agree? The heat, the events, the people--summer so far has proved to be quite fabulous! Despite its ups and downs, whether they be personal and individual, or global like the loss of the great Michael Jackson, summer still pushes on and it still feels good!
So the topic of this blog came to me while I was at San Francisco Pride '09 with some friends at the end of June.What defines the good life once we all "grow up" and get older? And are the things that are thought to compose the good life what we really want, or what society has advertised and brainwashed us into believing we should want? The things that would compose this so-called good life would be a man and woman getting married, driving a decent car, living in a nice house, having children, and having stable careers. Many people strive to achieve this life or are taught to at least want it--but what happens if you don't want it or anything like it?
Generally if you do not want this life, don't get it or at least some part of it by a certain age then society says something has to be wrong with you! I talked to several individuals and most people of my generation do not entirely want this illusion of a good life. So is there something wrong with them? Should they be condemned for not wanting the popular perception of the ideal life? I personally do not see myself getting married when I get older. I am not bitter towards marriage; I believe marriage can be beautiful when two people truly love one another and want to grow old together, but I don't think that's for me. Children I could see myself maybe adopting, and as for a home I don't see myself living in one place for long periods of time. Am I wrong for not wanting to live the life society says I should?
Even as children we are taught to be housewives and macho men. We are given baby dolls to encourage motherhood, and foot balls and toy guns to roughen us up. But what if you're a little boy who does not have a crush on the girl next door but instead has a thing for the other boy up the street? Or what if you're a female in your twenties who would rather establish your career first instead of chasing a man to succumb to being a wife or some body's baby mama? I think that the people of my generation are not necessarily ignoring the principles our parents and many people before us tried to instill in us, but I think we are going out into the world and inventing our own. Marriage, family, and stability are beautiful principles that have been perpetuated by society and those before us, however I do not see the harm in young people today stepping up to plate to make our own rules and define ourselves. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with anyone wanting the "good life" by wanting to be married, living in a house with a white picket fence, with a few little rascals running around. But maybe there also is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to spend her life with another woman, or a man traveling the world instead of being tied down to a wife with kids--we should not let society label it a wrong or bad life, but just a different one.
At the end of the day, we are the rulers of our lives. Too many leaders and individuals before us have stepped outside the box to not break the rules but invent their own--and it is their examples we should model ourselves after. We live in an age where gay men can look better than some females, women can run corporations and businesses, people with no musical talent can still have fans and make money, and the president of the United States can be a man of color; who the hell says we can't live our lives the way want to?! Maybe the "good life" is not what society says it should be, but it is whatever we want it to be based on our own happiness.
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.Summer surely is here and it hot as hell! I can't complain too much, however individuals such as my self with darker skin tend to curse the heat--we always get darker! Then again the saying goes, "the darker the berry the sweeter the juice"--but I think some dark skinned fool just made that up to feel good about himself!
Anyway, I was talking with my best friend earlier this week and we were discussing how it felt like our pasts were becoming too overwhelming in our present. Whether it was particular individuals or situations, the past seemed to be getting a little too close for comfort in our current lives. Which sprouted into a question and the birth of this blog: what are you supposed to do when your past is so vividly apart of your present?
Well I think "the past" needs to have its own definition in order for me to further elaborate! To me, the past is only really the past when the situations or people from it no longer linger around in the present. For example, can you really say someone you used to date is in "your past" if you never stop thinking about, missing, loving, or resenting them? Or can you say that you are over someone you used to be friends with if the hurt, animosity or guilt never gets resolved? Are the things that happened weeks, months, or years ago ever really over if there is never any completion?
Perhaps the things that happened before can not be labeled as "the past" if there is never any closure. If we end a situation, friendship or relationship and still carry around the baggage up to now, are we being true to ourselves to say it is over? Generally when people say something is in "the past" they mainly mean that they are over it, or have been trying to move on. But if there was never any resolution or completion how the hell can you move on?! Where are you going to go, except in one big circle? A story is not really a story with a beginning and no ending.
Personally there are numerous situations and relationships that I have been involved in and I can say that they are in the past--mainly because I sincerely am over and done with it. I do not carry around any excess baggage, unresolved feelings, or animosity. I have personally taken the time out to resolve it internally within myself, or externally with the other person, and I have moved on! But I have to be fair and say that there are things that I am not entirely over; things or people that I still resent and I can not say these things are in the past because they are still apart of my present life. Whether I think about it rarely or every day, they have not come full circle and therefore are not over.
So if the past is so vividly entwined with your present, maybe it is for a reason! I am a person about progression and advancement--therefore holding grudges are pointless to me. No I am not perfect, which means I am not the best at forgiving and letting go, but I sure as hell aim to be! To say that you forgive someone means to except the person and the situation for what it is and to really let it all go. So many of us tell ourselves lies that we are over things that we really are not, and then we wonder why we can't ever be happy, keep a stable relationship, and attract so much negativity. If things are still unresolved, we most likely need to address them so we can grow and move on. If it is meant to still be in our lives then it will prove just that, and if it does not it is up to us to finish that story so it can finally come to its ending. I know I have a few stories that I need to finish, and I plan on closing each and every one. Besides, what else is there to do in this heat?!
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.
This Tuesday I returned from a mini vay-cay to a resort in the Bay Area. It was refreshing and allowed me to rest my mind, and also prepare it for the busy summer that is awaiting me!
Yesterday (Thursday) I hosted a small get together with some friends for a last minute barbecue my brother decided to have. 3 of my female friends came over, and we had a fairly good time. And it is practically inevitable that three girls and a gay guy left in a room would soon commence to gossiping and putting our jaws to work. And amongst the many things we have in common, one of the main things just so happens to be our problems, issues, and mishaps with men.
I find it rather sad that of our little quartet that any of us are having problems with men. We all have good things going for ourselves, but for some reason can not seem to get a grip on our love and relationship departments. I prefer to keep my friends' names anonymous, but all of us have our own individual difficulties with guys. Friend #1 is knock out gorgeous, and I am not just saying that because she is my friend, anyone on the street would agree with this opinion. The girl is a fashionista, has a job, her own car, and goes to school. But she can never seem to get a man because guys her age are always intimidated by her.
Friend #2 is the sweetest "girl next door" type of person. She goes to school, has her own car, is an aspiring teacher and donates a lot of time to her church. But for some reason all she seems to attract is gay guys, and finding a straight guy for her is equivalent to finding someone who legally downloads music: not entirely impossible but definitely not common.
Friend #3 has to be the worse case of all! Beautiful girl, family oriented, works and goes to school, has her own apartment, and also has a boyfriend but can't seem to find a spark in the bedroom. As for myself, I can't seem to attract a guy who wants to be with just me or admit he wants an open relationship. So in other words, I can get but can never keep a man. What is going on here? All of us are attractive, smart, down-to-earth, fun-loving and generally good hearted young people. But our love lives are pathetic roadkill!
Is it because we are too independent? Based on the observations that I have been making on friends or people in my area, majority of the girls or guys who are in relationships are generally taking a lot of bullshit from their partners. Is that why we are still single, because we won't settle for less? Because we won't be some one's storage shed? Because we want sincerity and not to be manipulated? Do not be mistaken, and think that I am just crying and throwing a pity party because I am still single--being single definitely has its benefits. But I would like to think there are a lot of other people out there who are in the same predicaments as me and my friends, but the only difference between them and me is that I actually ask "why?"
Why is a good man so hard to find? And why is it that someone who wants one has to be labeled desperate, high maintenance, snobbish, idealistic or asking for too much? Is it really too much to ask for someone to keep your company who doesn't bore you to tears rambling on and on about their ex, when they voluntarily offered the information and you have no interest in it? Or is it too much to ask for someone who doesn't just want to show you off as arm candy and actually takes the time to get to know you? Is it too much to not want to have the biggest question burdening your mind when meeting a new guy "is he gay or straight"? Are we asking for too much to not want a guy to be so indecisive about whether he wants to have sex with you or not?
Perhaps its just us, maybe we are attracting the wrong guys and blowing off the good ones. Or maybe all the good men are with other good men or women. Or maybe its just that SACRAMENTO MEN SUCK! Whatever the reason is, if there are any good, single gay or straight men who are scared of being found--they should know that there are some great men and women who are getting quite tired of playing hide and seek. So ready or not, here we come!
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.
So this is just a list of some things I think every gay guy should know. Most of them are made off of mere observation, or just my personal opinion. And of course there are PLENTY of things every gay guy should know, and these may not apply to everyone, but they should still be very interesting.
#10 - YOU ARE GAY, and yes people are going to stare. To some hetero people, they are just fascinated by gay people, to them we're like unicorns in a zoo that they just have to gawk at. There's pretty much nothing you can do about it. No matter how you try to mask it, hide it or avoid it--its just bound to happen! You're not normal and never will be, and that is not a bad thing! But there is something about the way you walk, the way you talk, your mannerisms, gestures and demeanor that gives off that you are gay. There's no need in being insecure about it, if they want to stare then let them! Hell why not give them a show while you're at it? As long as its not getting violent, don't worry about anybody watching you.
#9 - Yes doll face you are beautiful. You are cute, handsome and have a wicked sex appeal. But do not get full of yourself. Just because you look good does not mean you are the hottest thing walking. Whether you know it or not, there are about 20 other guys who look way better than you. I mean they blow you out of the water, you would probably rush home to change your outfit if one of them was in your proximity. So do not get too full of yourself. Confidence is one thing, but no one wants to be around some one arrogant and snobby. Beauty is only skin deep, and looks are not everything.
#8 - Everyone is different, and each gay person has something to bring to the table. Just because someone is not the "typical" gay does not mean they should be an outcast in the community. All gay boys do not shop at the same places, some of them have individual styles. All gay guys are not obsessed with being in "the scene", some of them prefer to steer away from all the drama and drive for popularity. Contrary to popular belief, every gay guy is also not obsessed with Beyonce, Lady Gaga or Britney Spears--some of them have different music tastes like neo-soul or rock. But there should not be divisions in the community, we should all acknowledge one another for our individual traits and contributions.
#7 - Every gay guy needs a hag. Hags are practically the backbone of the gay community. Every man needs a woman, and gay guys are no exception! Straight girls and gay boys just seem to go together! They are supportive, comforting, encouraging and they go hand in hand with a gay! Every boy should have at least one straight girl friend, and most straight girls would be more than thrilled to have a gay friend (some of them treat us like collector's items and try to get as many as possible). Besides, who else are you going to go shopping with, take to prom, drag to the club, and cruise cute guys with?
#6 - Just like every gay guy needs a hag, he also needs to know or have a lesbian friend! Lesbians are gay just like you and although they have their own struggles and drama, they usually share the same ones as you. Plus they're not that bad to have around to kick some ass when you get into confrontation.
#5 - Stop setting standards on people! Gay guys have been accused of being too shallow, and to be honest the accusation has some validity in it. A lot of gay guys are really superficial and set these ridiculous standards on what type of guys they will and will not date or have sex with. They have to be a particular ethnicity, height, weight, masculine or feminine, top or bottom, openly gay or DL, and its all preposterous! You have no idea where you are going find happiness. Stop limiting your options of happiness by being so shallow and narrow minded. Accept people as they are and quit being so shallow and judgmental.
#4 - STOP THE WAR ON FEM GUYS! Some gay guys have the audacity to attack and consider themselves better than a lot of feminine gay guys because they are more masculine than them. NEWSFLASH, you're just as gay as them! Gay is gay, there are no subdivisions or superiority pyramids. Instead of looking down your nose at fem guys you need to be taking your hat off to them. They take a lot of blows for the gay community because they are consistently condemned and criticized for being as they are. No everyone does not have to love fem guys, nor date them or have sex with them. We are allowed to have preferences, but at the end of the day we are all gay! And some masculine guys think that fem guys are "so annoying"--what makes you think YOU aren't annoying? Walking around being egotistical, machismo and boasting this silly bravado can be just as annoying and bothersome as a guy who squeals and carries a purse. Don't be mad at a fem guy because YOU don't have the balls to wear skin tight jeans and do a fierce strut! Let them do their thing as they let you do yours.
#3 - EVERY man does not want to be gay. Even in today's age where everybody practically has a little "gay" in them, there are plenty of men who solely like women. This whole "trying to convert straight guys" thing is ridiculous and dangerous. You can not CHANGE someone who does not want to be changed! By sleeping with a guy there is no guarantee that he will become gay afterwards. Some gay guys will go on and on saying how they want to "convert their straight friend" by having sex with him. What kind of friend are you? What kind of friend tries to manipulate a straight friend for the benefit of blabbing to everyone that they did it? How would you like it if your straight girl friend tried to "convert you into being straight"? If you are secure with your sexual identity then fine, and if you stumble across someone who is curious that is fine too--but don't go around trying to change straight men.
#2 - Stop perpetuating the usage of the word "fag" or "faggot". It is a very hurtful, derogatory, degrading word ESPECIALLY when it is used in an attempt by one gay guy to hurt another. Its self-hatred and painful, particularly when gay guys use it amongst each other. In some aspects it can be used in a playful manner, but everyone is not comfortable with it. When ever I hear it I cringe a little; it can be so brutal and piercing. If we do not stop using it to hurt one another, it only makes it easier for non-gay people to use it against us as well.
#1 - Be true to yourself. Love starts at home, and you have to learn to love yourself before you try to love anyone else. We all are beautiful people, and I believe that we were each created by a higher power for a reason and it is our destiny to figure out what that reason was and carry it out. But you only get one life, so live it to the max! Stay healthy, practice safe sex and love one another! And if you are ashamed of who you are, or anything you do for that matter, then maybe YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING IT THEN.
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.
So I don't know if the cosmos is out of whack or something, but a lot of peculiar things have been happening to me lately. Yesterday was my friend Jacy's birthday (2nd birthday this week) and my friend Caylan and I decided to take her out. So we all went downtown to the Jazz Festival, and had a fairly good time. If you are not a Sacramento native, you may not be too familiar with the light rail. Basically the light rail is a train system that transports people all over the city (similar to a subway but it isn't underground).
All three of us head over to the 7th & K St. light rail stop to wait for our train so we can head back to Jacy's car which is parked at the Meadowview light rail station. We walk towards the stop, and once we get there my friend Caylan stops us and tells us to turn around. Near some bushes in front of an alleyway near the street is a middle aged black couple, doing very obscene and bizarre things. Now because it is dark and at night, they are not entirely visible. HOWEVER if you were to walk past them on the streets they would be in plain sight. When we turn around my friend Jacy gasps and I exclaim, "Oh my gosh is he sucking her toes?" My friend Caylan goes on to say, "Yes he is, but don't stare!"
Me being as over-dramatic as I am, OF COURSE I can't stop staring or repeating, "Oh my gosh he's sucking her toes! He's really sucking her toes!" If that isn't repulsing and peculiar enough, it gets worse! The woman then goes on to pull his shorts down and begins to perform oral sex on him! We were mortified! Living in Sacramento, and being unfortunately forced to take public transportation until my finances see fit to get me a vehicle, I very frequently see some strange things. But that crossed the line.
Some people seem to have no decency or shame! I am a big fan of PDA (public display of affection) but I have to draw the line at some place. Those people or like my friend Caylan prefers to call them, "Crazies" were all the way over the line, building a house with a picket white fence, and starting their own neighborhood of other little Crazies! What if a law enforcer had walked by and saw that? Or what if a child had walked by and witnessed it? And for them to be adults they should know better than to do that. Also being that they were right by an alleyway, if they seriously could not wait to "get busy" why couldn't they have gone down there where no one could have seen them? Its disgusting, tasteless, and a crying shame! People like them need to be quarantined! It should be a national law, that dirty middle aged people should not be allowed to practically have sex on the streets where everyone can see them! Hmph, talk about having no class! So for any couples or individuals who are fans of PDA and enjoy engaging in it, PLEASE draw the line at kissing. Anything more intense than that should be confined to the privacy of your bedroom!
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
Hello gorgeous.
I would first like to say that I am very new to this whole "blogging" thing. But since no one ever reads anything I write on Myspace or Facebook, and this whole site is dedicated to blogging, AND it seems to be the new craze, why not give it a try? "When in Rome" right?Today I was struck with some very interesting new thoughts (as I often am) while hanging out with my friends Brandon and Amber. For one, Brandon is gay and today was his 18th birthday. While treating him to some ice cream we began to talk about dating and guys. He was saying that he does not have or want a cell phone anytime soon. I responded by saying, "This is 2009! How do you even exist without a cell phone?"He went on to say one of the most profound and stimulating things I had heard all day. "If a guy likes me, he'll make the effort to see me. The fact that I don't have a phone is just a test to see how bad he wants to go out with me. Any guy who is not worth my time won't make the effort." And while initially the fact of having no phone seems practically impossible to me (I mean seriously, I can't go an hour or more without texting!) I think my friend Brandon might be on to something!We live in a very technical era, and the people of my generation have so many technical advances that were not available, even 20 years ago. Internet, cell phones, online social networks, music that can be downloaded; these things were nonexistent until now. Not to say that technology is a bad thing, but when it comes to socializing I think it makes us a little lazy. From personal experience, I have found that it is much easier to talk to someone by texting them or chatting online opposed to meeting up with them in person or even calling them. We live in an era of online social networks where we can be connected to people who live across the country and even across the globe!--and there is nothing wrong with that. But it seems most people are meeting and dating other people via Myspace, Downelink, Facebook etc. rather than in person like "The Old Days".Call me old fashioned, but there is something exhilariting, enchanting and thrilling about meeting someone in person rather than talking to them online prior to meeting them. I like the thrill of walking up to someone and introducing myself to them, or having them do it to me. The chemistry, the exchnage of information, the exchange of numbers--these things my friends appear to be going out of style. Is meeting someone in person going vintage, or even worse "out" entirely? I seriously hope that the consistent technical advances of our generation does not make us all lazy computer geeks, and forget how to interact with one another in person!
Later my little monsters!
Mikey was HERE.
